Oh! The Scandal!

Wikipedia has a huge list, in chronological order of political sex scandals in the U.S. should you care to look them up. They go back quite far. I've been thinking about sex and politics lately, since the politicians are putting in their bids and trying to be their party's favorite for the running toward the presidency. I'll try to keep actual politics out of it because I don't enjoy talking about politics in general, but damn, that Buchanan woman is a fucking peach now, isn't she? Hiss.

The first time I ever really took notice of political sex scandal was back in 1998 (jesus... graduating high school and entering college. Now I feel old) with Bill Clinton. Now, his taste in women was questionable, but if he liked that little pork sausage, to each his own. But that was the first time I was like "this is just dumb." And it was. Did getting some in the Oval Office affect how he ran things? No. Not in the least. At least, not from what I could see, and in my newly-18-and-I-can-vote scrutiny, he was actually doing a good job of things.

I'm gong to say something, and it may shock some of you, so you may want to sit first:

People have sex. Even politicians.

Gasp! I know! And they have unhappy marriages and affairs, just like real people! Who'd'a thunk it? Listen, I know it makes good press, and it's awesome if you're actively trying to roust someone from their seat to take over and you come across this dirt on them to expose for your own gain, but honestly? It's none of our business, and a little gross to publicly shame them for getting their dicks wet. I imagine being a politician is stressful so if you gotta get off, to relax and get the tension out, so be it.

Politicians: they're people too.

Rambling

Sometimes you hit a dry spell. I'm in one. My libido has tanked and so has motivation to  do much. I told my therapist about this blog today and I realized I write in it a lot more often when I'm manic. I'm baseline now, not depressed, but I haven't been struck with inspiration. I still check my stats every day and I appreciate the hits I get. But everyone gets a dry spell and I've run into one. Tonight I think I'll just listen to beautiful music and center myself. Does anyone have any topics they'd like me to write about?

I'll just leave these here.

Wow...

So this isn't much of an entry but... I'm watching some Animal Planet show about weird animal mating rituals and slug mating is... Amazingly elegant. Look it up. Wow. Also, bonobos fuck a lot. No wonder we're so closely related to the Great Apes.

Prostitution should be legal

A good friend and I were taking about jail and how celebrities are released due to over crowding because we frankly have the wrong "criminals" in there. What do I mean by the wrong criminals, you ask? Let's talk drugs, for a moment. Now, I am one of the most anti-drug people you'll ever meet, but jailing a small-time user or dealer of marijuana is ridiculous and a waste of time and money. Fine them and be on their way. Now white-collar crimes like tax evasion. Not only are the taxes not getting paid, but it actually costs taxpayers money to have tax evaders in jail. Way to go, the legal system.

So what does this all have to do with prostitution? A number of things. Since I'm composing this on my phone (anyone wanna donate a Samsung Galaxy Tab? *wink*) and it's becoming cumbersome, I present to you the numbered list. Besides, people feel tl;dr with paragraphs sometimes.

1. Legalization would allow for federal regulation, meaning taxation (because really, it's only illegal because the government isn't getting their cut) and access to healthcare programs.

2. Also, legalization would decriminalize the sex worker industry, freeing up space in the jails for rehabilitation of real criminals and would help our government save on wasteful spending.

3. No more pimps! No more girls or boys abused, held hostage, raped and kept strung out and controlled by the god-damned pimps. Prostitutes in a legalized sex industry would have a safer work environment due to the lack of pimps.

4. Regulation... I touched on this briefly. One thing that there is no control over now that legalization could enforce is something that is done in the porn industry: mandatory STD and AIDS testing every 3-6 months as well as immunizations for hepatitis.

5. Oh, and let's put an end to human trafficking, shall we? Of course, legalizing prostitution doesn't put an end to the exploitation of the impoverished and desperate denizens of third world countries, but it will help.

Thoughts? Opinions? I know people read this, and I'd love to get some discussion going!

How to Cheat and Not get Caught

I know that I haven't written a lot in the original spirit of this blog, which I started to write exclusively about being the Other Woman but then started to explore my own sexuality, sexual politics, and education, so, sleepless, during a snow storm, I realized that my laptop had juice and that some neighbor had power (and I don't) and a weak wifi signal I could piggyback off'n. So here we go. Run-on sentences and all. The Other Woman's guide to not getting caught cheating.

1. Make sure you've paid attention to CSI
Yes, I'm being serious. Leave no trace. If your lover comes to your house or apartment for your tryst, you damn well pick every hair up that they shed from the couch, bed, and rug. Tape works wonders. And if their hair is longer than your partner's, make sure you go over everything with a fine-toothed comb. Say you are a man cheating on your female lover with another female. Ask your lover not to finger-comb her JBF (just been fucked) hair out in your place. Those hairs shed and it's something you have to clean up after. And don't toss them in the bathroom trash either.

2. Trash
Don't flush your condoms. Your wastewater management people will thank you. Bury them in toilet paper in the trash. Someone bring you a yummy treat? Bury it in the trash, or, better yet take it out to the dumpster or take all the trash out (look honey, you didn't have to ask!). Something so innocent as a fast food wrapper can tip a suspicious partner off, trust me.

3. Delete delete delete
I don't care how sentimental and touching the text messages and voicemails are, delete them. Delete all call history and, in certain phones, all contact history. Sure you could have the person in the phone; "who is this?" "oh someone from work/sports team/activity/AA." Anyone can rationalize someone in their phone book, explaining explicit or emotional texts is harder when you have a snoopy  and suspicious partner.

4.Ditch the email, too
Or, at least create a super-private one if you must have email contact with your affair, but for the love of god delete your cache, cookies, and browser history. If your partner stumbles across a second email address they never knew about it's harder to lie about. It's an old one you're suddenly using again? You decided you didn't want Facebook linked to your regular email account? Yeah. Lame. 

Alrighty, I've run out of steam. Anyone else have any other tips?

Big Big Love, Review part 1

Buy Big Big Love on Amazon

 

 

Here is the first part in the long-awaited book review I promised. Since I am only about 1/3 through the book, today I am only going to cover a very small-- but very important-- part of the book. In fact, if you only read part of the book, this is the part I would want everyone to read. So everyone, pull my blog up on your smartphones, run to your local book store, pick up Hanne Blank's Big Big Love (Revised) and open up to the page entitled A Brief Introduction, With a Side of Debunking. Page 1, if you're lazy.

I don't care if you don't give a rat's ass about fat sexuality. Everyone should read the introduction to this book, especially if you have some fat-phobic tendencies. Right off the bat, in the third paragraph, Blank pulls out a statistic that people like to gloss over: 

Technically speaking, about one-third of adult Americans are obese by the BMI-happy standards of the Centers for Disease Control. At a rough estimate, that's about a hundred million people... this represents a wide range of people... with a couple handfuls of extra junk in the trunk to the fattest among us, and it represents a wide range of experience. (pp 1-2)

So what she's saying is... lots of us are fat. Get over it. Everyone has sex. I view the introduction to this book as a bit of a wakeup call to those who shudder and say "who would tap that mound?" or "she must be desperate!" As a society, thin is generally the accepted "pretty" and the only model of desirability. Blank's introduction is a fat-positive slap in the face to that. She can be pretty blunt, but her writing also has a bit of humor behind it, alleviating the sting.

While it might seem that she comes out in your face and aggressive with fat-positivity, it is all leading up to the next section in the book, which is about debunking common myths related to fat people and fat sexuality. Personally, I loved this section. My boyfriend is heavy and he has a lot of concerns related around these myths about his own body and this section was extremely helpful to me in opening a dialogue with him. I also told him I want him to read this book when I'm done with it. I think it will help his self esteem a lot.

Another thing that pops up in the introduction which is awesome are the personal anecdotes and survey answers provided by research done by Blank. Not only has she dedicated years of her life to writing fat-positive materials, she has also included the real-life voices of fat people and fat lovers in her book, both in interviews and side-bar quotes. They are a treat to read and really makes the book much more personal and intimate and relatable. I carry extra "junk in the trunk" myself and it really does help to hear positive words from others, even if in print, to build that positivity and confidence and love in myself. Part of why I selected this book in the first place is that you don't see much about fat sexuality or much that is fat positive on book store shelves. This screamed to me to buy it. So far, I love what I am reading. I hope this encourages you to read it too. Follow the link I provided to amazon and take a peek.

A documentary review instead

Porn is such a hotly debated issue so tonight I'm watching "The Price of Pleasure" streaming on Netflix. I like some porn, love Playboy, so let's see how this is...

55 minutes later...

Wow. I should have known from the title how skewed and anti-porn this documentary is. In a nutshell:

Porn is only watched by men
Porn is demeaning to women
Porn exploits women and minorities
Porn ruins relationships
Porn makes all women feel bad about themselves
Porn sexualizes violence against women

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

Once they got into porn making violence against women okay because it embraces violent scenes I almost turned it off. It's like they took every seedy part of the industry and then touched on the BDSM lifestyle to attack a multimillion dollar industry with skewed facts looking at only heterosexual porn aimed at men. They interviewed men and the women they interviewed were either researchers who were trying to find violence against women or were themselves the victims of abuse/broken marriages due to uncommon or abnormal viewing or use of pornography. It just was not objective at all.

Bad documentary, bad. Now go to your room and think of what you've done.