The Dramaz that Social Networking makes Us LOL at

I figured I've got at least a good half hour  to sit and write before the 100mg of Topamax I just took knocks me out for the night, so why not write. As my mentor urged me (and yes, I consider you my mentor, you-know-who-you-are, and next time you visit why don't you tell me so I can make you food?) I am writing more about myself and my interpersonal experiences, and as I promised, there would not be a lack of entries even though I am now in a relationship with  Foot Fetish Friend. This is actually about our relationship, and the hilarity of a temper tantrum his ex-girlfriend, whom we shall refer to as "Damphir" from here on out, threw.

Let me preface with all involved parties are on Facebook (who isn't? Well, my Dad, but we'll excuse him. He's 70. He gets a pass). I have never met or interacted with Damphir. She does not know me outside of seeing my Facebook profile picture, which is of me in full-on wedding warpaint with my hair done, wearing a tiara for my BFF's wedding in May. Not normal me. But, being the vain creature I am, I like being pretty and it'll stay. Now I'll admit, I'm a creeper. I looked at her profile picture and mocked the wanna-be Gothness and emoness of it all.

Although Foot Fetish Friend and I started "officially" dating on September 2nd, we did not change relationship status on Facebook until he had a talk with Damphir, because he was getting a strong hint from her that she wanted to get back together (being bipolar and borderline personality, this is one of her "up" swings; relationships don't last and don't work for her) he met up with her for coffee to break the news and try to have an adult conversation. Try. Some choice tidbits he relayed back to me:

"Anyone who wears that much makeup must be hiding something"
"I had to block her so that I wouldn't send her a nasty-gram"
Calling me "it" and "that"
"I don't like the way she talks to you/treats you" wtf when has she seen us interact?
"I would rather see you back with your ex-wife than with her"

Yeah, some harsh shit, huh? Bitch doesn't know me. He said the ex-wife comment was the most surprising, because she was around at the end of his marriage and saw how miserably his ex-wife treated him. So yeah. I treat him well, feed him well, talk to him like he's people and have fun with him and I'm somehow worse than his ex-wife. Also, apparently she doesn't like what he has become. Funny how she gleaned this all from my profile picture on Facebook...

Anyway, because he lets me dick around on his computer, he let me, with permission, on his account so I could look at things but the only thing I did was post a lame status on his page making him look like a lame-ass me-worshiper (shh I like attention!). I did look at her pictures and read her emo posts but that's all. A couple of days later he showed me a status on his phone from her:

No matter how much makeup or "fancy" the dress, you can't hide what the nosferatu really is: ugly

Now, that might be a paraphrase, but definitely directed at me from her previous comments to Foot Fetish Friend. And Nosferatu is clearly a reference to a picture we put up before going to the Most Boring Wedding Ever(tm) where I pulled a face that made my already fangy canines look even longer. I have never publicly put out anything hateful to this girl but bitch is jealous. Get a nose job.

So now she has unfriended Foot Fetish Friend because of the post I put on his Facebook, feeling she can't trust him not to let me on her page, that I'm going to see her private inner thoughts about cutting and shit. Whatever. I was willing to be adult about all the bullshit (there's more stuff going on that involves more people but I won't over-complicate things) since I came into the picture but I want to make my petty jabs, too. I hope she Googles "damphir" and finds this. You got beef? Bring it.