College IS for discovery, right?

I went to a college only 30 minutes from home. Naive to the ways of things, I thought that my new roommate, whom I shall call Butterfly (and if she reads this, ever, will know right away this is about her and who is writing it) was simply awesome. We had everything in common, and she came into the arrangement with a 30" TV and 3 gaming consoles. We had the biggest TV in our all-girl dorm. We were in geek heaven, between our electronics and books and posters and constant watching of sci-fi. We made cool friends and all hung out together (except, when they went to smoke pot I stayed in the room. Only once did I "walk" with them and it was terribly awkward).

Upstairs on the third floor lived a girl whom I shall call Army K. She was roommates with Sudbury K, who had incidentally gone to high school with Butterfly. Army K was very openly lesbian. In fact, when I questioned what a dental dam was, she whipped one out of her drawer and demonstrated on an imaginary vagina. Okay, then. She was short and loud but very, very out. I had gay friends back home but I had never met someone that was bordering on militant.

Fall semester went on. My sponge-like mind was filled with knowledge and new experiences and thoughts and ideas. I met new people, learned about their experiences. And then one by one the lesbians came. One night Army K and Sudbury K cornered Butterfly and said "are you a lesbian?" Now, Butterfly had a boyfriend. This wasn't questioned before. Without answering, Butterfly came back down to our room and locked herself in. Fancy that, I didn't have my key. She wouldn't answer when the others knocked but I eventually was let in (it was my room too, after all).

That night, in the dark as we lay in our respective beds on either side of the room, she finally came out. It really bothered her that the others were so in her face about it. It was a turmoil she struggled with. She entrusted the first outing to me. I paid her in kind. It was then that I confessed that I was bisexual, and had really come to realize it after a lot of thought after she had asked one night, "would you ever kiss a girl?" to which I unwaveringly and unhesitatingly said "yes.'

Now, I know what you're thinking, gentle readers, that this was a dream come true for two newly non-heterosexual females, but alas, it was not. I went home every weekend, being the homebody that I am, and over that first weekend, Butterfly met a girl at a party, and started dating her right away. I did not like this girl, and yes, I was jealous. I was madly in crush with Butterfly. I would passive-aggressively misspell her girlfriend's name, belittle her, make sniping comments, and write lovelorn poetry. One day, Butterfly sat next to me on my bed, held my hand, and let me cry out my feelings on her shoulder. So there you have it. My first girl crush.

I've since gotten over it, and we are still friends, although we don't talk as much as we used to, mainly, I think, due to location. She's working on her doctorate and is in a committed relationship to a really sweet and intelligent girl. And I? Well, I'm doing my thing. I really should message her on facebook and see if her number is still the same...