The start and dissolution of a friendship through sex

I'm going to elucidate a bit on the entries that I put up here and here, and it probably won't be pretty. I'm going to copy/paste the emails I received, but as always, names will be omitted. For the sake of this, I am going to change my friend's name to Bondage Friend, capice?

To give a little back story to this whole thing, I met Bondage Friend on World of Warcraft. I was Horde, he was Alliance, but I met him through my best friend. A whole group of awesome guys, actually. We all chatted, joked, and eventually they all came over to the dark side and played Horde with me. We Facebooked, and it progressed to texting. Because I am a very sexual person (and let's admit it, geeks are perverts) conversation turned toward sexuality and exploring it. He revealed to me that he's a dom (dominant, for teh newbs) and thought I could learn and expand on my sexuality. We talked a lot. I was curious, asked questions.

Ready to take my curiosity to the next level, we got on Ventrilo (a communication program for in-game conversation, again, for teh newbs) to "play." I had my beloved glass dildo and a package of clothes pins handy, and was willing to submit. He guided me, telling me where to put the clothes pins, starting with my nipples. He had me ease my glass dildo anally. I sent him pictures with my phone as we went. Soon, I had clothes pins springing from my labia and circling my breasts. I was very close to orgasm but then the pain in my left nipple started to overwhelm me (the skin has been broken there from one too many aggressive bites) and I started to panic a little. Gently, he guided me to removal, which hurt much, much worse. I hobbled to the kitchen for ice and cried and screamed but I got them off. He talked me down, and once I had taken some breaths, he told me I had done well, and if I had finished the adrenaline would have taken care of the pain. Ah, hindsight. To this day I am still a little afraid of clothes pins.

Time went on an he bought me a web cam, but sadly the only thing we used it for was for him to show me just how good he is at giving his roommate a blow job. Which was hot. Damn. We continued to talk, I told him of my sexual escapades. We got very close. Then he mentioned coming to visit, to see if a relationship would work. Me being me, I told him "You don't want a relationship with me, I'm emotionally unavailable." Fearing the thought of someone getting close, I ran. Yes folks, your intrepid Other Woman is a coward.

As time passed, I helped him with his writing assignments in college (I've got to use my English degree somewhere, after all) and he told me, as we communicated, that I would probably like flogging and that he would take some classes in it before coming up for my best friend's wedding. I was excited! I love spankings and mild pain and this seemed right up my alley. One evening, while doing an on-the-fly paper editing over the phone, he casually mentioned that his girlfriend had been helping him with his assignments when I mentioned that the quality of his writing was improving. This gave me pause, because in our conversations, he had never once mentioned that he had met someone. I questioned this, and asked if all  the plans were off for the week of the wedding. He assured me that she understood what would happen when he got here. I don't mind being the Other Woman, but I want to know I am. I don't appreciate deception.

I already described what happened the night of the encounter in this post so I won't reiterate. Now for the fun stuff. The Shit Storm (tm). After he left (and forgot his phone at the hotel, wtf) I emailed him because I hadn't heard from him at all. I was worried. He was having kidney problems. Here is what I got as a response:

At this time I am needing to break off all contact you, beacuse of my decision to have sex with you.  I do thank you for the help you provided for me, in my english class.  If you still want to contact me, you will have to do so through my girlfriend [name omitted].  She can be reached at [girlfriend's email]

 Wow. That night I was so mad that I walked a good 5 miles in anger, texting Bondage Friend's roommate the whole time for information, venting, raging. When I calmed down a little, I emailed back:

I have no confidence that you will actually see this message but since this is my only option, I have no choice. I am hurt and offended and angry. I feel as though our friendship has been cast aside with no consideration for my feelings. I get a very cold, 2-line email from you with no explanation or option for 2-way dialogue whatsoever. I have immense respect and admiration and trust (shit, I let you see me cry for christsakes) for you and to be cast aside so easily without any honest explanation is, quite frankly, bullshit. I wish you would have an open dialogue with me, at least, so we can get everything out on the table. I am still willing to help you  with your comp2 stuff when need be. I don't abandon so easily. When you get your phone back, call. Email, text, vent, whatever.

 To which I got an email reply from his girlfriend, not from him:

I will pass this email to Bondage Friend. Bondage Friend and I have an agreement when it comes to the mess that happened while he was in Maine. I gave him the option of telling you whatever he wanted as a reason for no longer contacting you, including that I was being a demanding, jealous bitch. That I was hurt so badly by the man I love, he was surprised that I simply didn't just walk away. He will also be getting a copy of what I send to you. If he decides to send an email further explaining just -why- he has cut off communication with you is really up to him. I will agree to him sending one. If he doesn't send one explaining more, that's his decision. And, he let me read what he sent you, which I did not require. He stated very bluntly that it was because of his decision to have sex with you that he was cutting off ties. While this is not an in depth explanation, you can't say that there was -no- explanation. When I told him what he had to do in order to stay with me (which is a demand I have -never- made in my life and never thought I would), he didn't balk or try to negotiate. I'm not saying this to hurt you, I am merely stating what happened. To be honest, I was shocked that he agreed so readily.

 I did not respond back. I'm toying with it. I also did not get a response back from Bondage Friend. So there you have it kiddos. Make sure in all things sexual and interpersonal that clear lines are drawn and defined and that dialogue is always clear and concise. It really is a pity I had to lose such a good friend after all that, after all, his rope work was spectacular.