I thought I'd do an update on the state of my Borg Collective (yes, this big fucking geek is still giving her guys Borg designations, it just works better that way). It's been slow building but I'd rather have guys I'm comfortable with and trust.
Number 1: He and I talked last night after not having sex for a month and a half. What happened last time we had sex was he wanted to play a dominant role and wanted me to submit completely. I can't. I just can't submit to him. We've always had a fucked up power dynamic in our relationship, and I don't want a dom/sub relationship with him. So, we talked last night. I asked if we could just fuck and not have the dom/sub thing. He agreed. That doesn't mean I won't enjoy the occasional choking/hair pulling/spanking but without submission. I told him if a potential booty call flakes on me today he can have me.
#2, aka Cyber Guy: My poor Cyber Guy has had it rough, a victim of domestic violence by his wife, just had surgery to fix what she hurt, and over the past two weeks she has left him and they amicably decided to divorce. He's my friend, but long-distance so I can't be there to support him as a friend, which is frustrating. I do what I can, including drinking with him the night his wife left him, and giving him a bit of release one night when we were both horny. He's considering moving up here, and friends have kindly offered a room in their apartment, however it means I may have to break my "no guys in my apartment" rule. I might have to get cleaning...
#3, aka Sanjay: "Sanjay" was a surprise to me. I got a message on FetLife from someone saying they'd admired my beauty for a decade. I thanked them but then said "...decade? I haven't been on this site long enough." With a little probing, he revealed who he was. I was surprised, a little panicked, a little weirded out, not gonna lie. But we got talking (we were coworkers together a long time ago and friends on Facebook) and discovered/discussed each other's kinks/needs. However, he asked to be my #3 when I was on my period, a week before finals. I asked him to please wait two weeks, which he did, patiently. Last night was our first encounter. He went down one me three times. Holy hell. And we fucked... twice? Yes, twice. Very fun. My abs hurt this morning. He responds to feedback well (I may have told him "you can spank me, pull my hair, and fuck me like you hate me if you want") and can fuck hard, which I appreciate.
And, a fourth? We'll see on this one. Potential fourth guy wanted to fuck today but so far I haven't heard from him. He's flaked a few times now so I'm not holding out hope. He first propositioned me in September and just now remembered he still has a house nearby (he's in a relationship, so he'll be sneaking around. Again, I'm not the morality police, I'll be discreet). So that's... iffy.
My Dog: Sadly, my foray into fimdomme was very short-lived. My Dog couldn't afford to keep me. Part of being a good domme is empathy, and I am human, so I completely understood the financial strain when he told me. Very nice guy though. Would've been interesting to see where that went. C'est la vie.
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