Depression and Cheating

For those of you who have been keeping up with this blog, you know that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and that I have been having some serious libido problems lately. Last night I experienced a rapid downward cycle (can I say it is weird to feel yourself cycle?) into depression and was up way later than anyone should have and awoke way cranky when Foot Fetish Boyfriend called me around 1 in the afternoon.

Anyway, I decided this afternoon to do some research into the effects of depression on libido, since that's a problem for me right now, and came across a really interesting article instead. The title caught me immediately: Can Infidelity Cure Depression? Hmm... I thought, very interesting question.

David J. Ley, PhD states that extramarital affairs by depressed women can have "The psychological effects of extramarital sex can involve feelings of increased self-esteem, and feelings of attractiveness, that other men find a woman attractive. That attention, and the thrills of developing a new relationship, even the excitement and risk of cheating, can all reduce feelings of depression. Of course, the negative consequences of a discovered affair could certainly increase depression, but during the early stages of the affair, those symptoms might be reduced." As someone who has always struggled with self esteem, I can certainly identify with what Ley is saying here. Not feeling good about yourself, and being able to get physical comfort from someone is a great boost to one's self esteem. And here's another shocking fact I was not aware of:

in having more sex, they may be getting something else that fights depression: semen. Believe it or not, research by Gallup and Burch reveals that men have been using a secret chemical weapon in the sex war. When analyzed, men's semen is shown to contain high levels (higher than mere accident) of numerous psychoactive hormones and substances.

I'm not advocating cheating, and nor is Ley, but the article in a whole has some interesting points. I also might add that there is a certain control factor in pursuing an affair that is helpful in lifting a mood; think about how depression make you feel: helpless, defeated, low. From my personal experience, when I used to 'hunt'  my boys, I felt great, desirable, dressed up, in control. Granted, I had some of my worst manic periods then, but I controlled the depression, it didn't control me, until I got lonely. It is, however, interesting food for thought.