Slut Shaming and Girl Guilt, two new phrases I've recently come across

Browsing Facebook on my phone one evening I came across The Sexademic's blog on girl guilt linked by a friend. Fascinated, I popped on my wi-fi and read from the snuggly comfort of my bed. Being someone who is ridiculously comfortable with her sexuality, feeling guilty after an encounter never really crossed my mind. It made me think, though, of the double-standard that is omnipresent in our society:  women are not allowed to be sexual beings in their own right, only if it serves the purpose to titillate others, and even then, they are looked down upon as sluts, whores, and loose women.

Whoa! The man-stealer, the super predator is going hardcore feminist? Fear not, but there are important issues that need to be addressed. We are far too advanced a society to to keep living under antiquated, patriarchal rules about gender roles. We've made so many strides in the acceptance of the sexuality of others (I know, I know, my US readers, we still have many strides to make) and women still have to feel ashamed to have sex? Horseshit, I say. But it is an unfortunate truth, and The Sexademic states it so eloquently:

But in a culture that legitimizes disrespect to females having sex outside of a committed relationship, how can it? I wish I could say the blatant hypocrisy of a male passing judgment on a female he slept with was enough to erase some sense of girl guilt, but when the larger culture agrees how can those actions not still sting?

So what is slut shaming? According to Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog, slut shaming is:

the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. Furthermore, it’s “about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior” (Alon Levy, Slut Shaming). It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general an society as a whole. It should be noted that slut-shaming can occur even if the term “slut” itself is not used.

After reading the anecdotal section of The Sexademic's post on girl guilt, I remember my days in school, where girls who showed any self confidence and sexuality were immediately called sluts, even if they barely knew what sex was. The boys though, were allowed to express their sexual prowess. It makes me wonder, though, if girls are automatically labeled and shunned as sluts because of earlier maturation. Has biology, in and of itself, shamed us?

So why do I call myself The Slut You Never Knew? Most people that know me in real life, know me as a somewhat shy woman who wears low-cut shirts to show off her ta-tas and may flirt a little, but is hopelessly in love with Number 1. Most people in my life don't know that I hunt and prey on the dissatisfied married man, therefore I am the unsuspecting slut, the surprise in the cereal box of sexuality. I use it not as a negative term, but as an easily identifiable adjective to facilitate the understanding of my sexuality to the world. I feel no guilt for what I do, for flirting with, seducing, and having sex with married men. I feel no shame for keeping boys in my back pocket for a booty call.

It is hard enough, in this society, to be female. Keeping with the habit of making women feel bad for being sexual beings has got to stop. I highly encourage reading both the blogs I linked to, especially Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog, which goes much more in depth into the societal ramifications of slut shaming and its link to rape and sexual violence. This is me on my soap box. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging.